


Special Zombie Education

by MerMagicAnaLily



Series: Out Past Curfew [2]
Category: Z-O-M-B-I-E-S (Disney Movies)
Genre: F/M, Mentions of Sex, No Smut, Sex Talk, Zombie Lore, mentioned zombie-ism, not smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:35:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22984138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerMagicAnaLily/pseuds/MerMagicAnaLily
Summary: “You didn’t talk to her yet, did you?” Eliza asked, standing next to Zed at his locker. He sighed and shelved more books. “I know you didn’t talk to her.”“I talk to her all the time, Eliza,” he said. “Addison is my girlfriend, and talking to each other comes with the territory.”Eliza stared at him unamused for a few minutes before she whacked him on the shoulder with her notebook. “You know that’s not what I’m talking about. Did you talk to her about...specific zombie stuff that could be a lot more impactful to a heterosexual human and zombie couple than it would be with a lesbian werewolf and zombie couple?” She asked.
Relationships: Bonzo/Bree (Z-O-M-B-I-E-S), Mentioned Bronzo, Mentioned Williza, Willa Lykensen/Eliza Zambie, Zed Necrodopoulus/Addison Wells
Series: Out Past Curfew [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1650292
Comments: 12
Kudos: 95





	Special Zombie Education

“You didn’t talk to her yet, did you?” Eliza asked, standing next to Zed at his locker. He sighed and shelved more books. “I know you didn’t talk to her.”

“I talk to her all the time, Eliza,” he said. “Addison is my girlfriend, and talking to each other comes with the territory.” 

Eliza stared at him unamused for a few minutes before she whacked him on the shoulder with her notebook. “You know that’s not what I’m talking about. Did you talk to her about...specific zombie stuff that could be a lot more impactful to a heterosexual human and zombie couple than it would be with a lesbian werewolf and zombie couple?” She asked.

Zed sighed, and glared at her. “No, I didn’t. Happy?”

“Obviously not,” she said. “Addison is my friend too, and I know you love her like crazy by how insufferable you two are together. I’m ninety-nine percent sure that she doesn’t know the stuff that we do.”

“Yeah, more pain and suffering,” he said. “Zombies can be super strong and fast, and just about completely lost their dependence to brains to the point where we don’t even crave them anymore even without our Z-Bands, yay. But we have about an encyclopedia’s worth of footnotes to this existence that sucks, and some that are not even including the laws put upon us,” he said sarcastically. “So no...I didn’t give her ‘the talk’ because I’m not even entirely sure I can get the words out.”

“She needs to know,” Eliza said. “More than whatever pain you’ll feel by getting the words out. If she doesn’t know and things happen…”

“I don’t plan on anything happening without her knowing,” he said. 

“You got close. I could tell by the look on your face, you got really close when she spent the night with you, and that was over a week ago. What happens next time you two are alone and...well, you’re feeling stuff.”

“I won’t,” Zed said. 

“Bullshit.”

“You don’t know me.”

“I know you better than you know yourself, Zed. And, I know how our dirty little minds work because I indulged myself.”

“Again, all of Zombietown is aware of that,” he said. “Zoey asked me who was hurting a werewolf. I made her go talk to dad, and neither looked like they slept the next day.”

“Yeah, which is why most of the time, it’s in the little soundproofed room of her den,” she said with a little smirked, and Zed made a disgusted face. “I had the talk with Willa. I survived.”

“Willa is a werewolf. She already inherently knows some of the things, you just cleared up the zombie specific ones. Addison...humans are nothing like that. At all.” 

Eliza sighed, seeing Zed’s frustration and nervousness. “I offered it a while back, but...I wasn’t sure you were going to take it. So I’ll offer it again. I can give her the talk for you. Make it girl talk instead of relationship talk. That way, she knows all the information before you two actually...you know...decide on anything and you can talk that part out with a little more ease.”

“I...I don’t know.”

“Can you guarantee me that you’ll talk with her before the next time you two spend the night?” Zed looked at her, then away, not saying anything. “I’ll make it the least amount of awkward as possible, and talk about zombies as a whole, not you specifically. Especially since I don’t want to even think about you specifically. Gross.” She gagged a little and Zed smiled a little. 

“How can I repay you?” He asked as Bonzo joined up with them to walk to math class together. 

“Simple,” Eliza said. “You give Bree the talk when Bonzo is ready.”

“Greagy? Gur Zraght?” Bonzo asked, and Eliza laughed. 

“For when you two have have sex, of course.” 

Bonzo paled and started stuttering out words in zombie, attempting to explain that they will do no such thing because he and Bree were taking it very slow, and he threw in a few half-hearted threats.

* * *

Addison ran up to Zed after Spanish class, giving him a hug. “Missed you.” 

Zed laughed and hugged her back. “I missed you too. You cannot go on weekend trips to the countryside with your family anymore. Especially with no cell signal.”

“I know, every gas station that had free WiFi, I was connecting and texting you as fast as I could before my parents ended their bathroom breaks,” she laughed. “But I don’t think we’ll be doing anything new for a while. So...did I miss anything while I was gone?”

“Oh you know…” he said. “Eliza’s annoying as usual, Willa hangs around her like a lost puppy dog...uh…Bonzo is trying out for the Seabrook Orchestra and submitting art for the local museum, so that’s kind of cool.”

“That’s awesome! Remind me to congratulate him. It’s Zargrizgarkasgr for congrats, right?” 

“Emphasize the gar, and you got it,” he said with a smile. “Soon you’ll be absolutely fluent in zombie.”

“Can’t wait,” she said with a smile. “Hey, I just remembered, Zoey’s birthday is coming up soon, right? Her thirteenth?”

“Oh, yeah, in like, two weeks. It’s a big birthday. Her Zombashera, as we like to call it.” 

“Like a Bar Mitzvah?” 

“Kind of a Bar Mitzvah/Quincenera type deal. Zombashera for girls Zombashihro for boys. Don’t ask me why there’s two names to it. There just is, I guess.”

“Big party.”

“Biggest. All of Zombietown is invited, and everyone gives her gifts that they hand make from scraps, all of them supposed to represent how that person sees her. I mean, at my Zombashihro, Bonzo actually made me this jacket,” he said, showing off his jacket that was made of the old coveralls and had a giant Z in the back. It also had one normal sleeve and the other sleeve was several undershirt sleeves sewn together to make a thick layer but keep up Zed’s signature one-armed coverall look. 

“Cool! Ooh, I wonder what I should make her? Maybe something about Cheerleading? She did help the cheer championships accept zombies?”

“Oh…” Zed’s eyes widened. “I uh...I’m not sure...I don’t think her Zombashera is a very...human-friendly event.”

“Oh? Why not? I thought she liked humans, and your whole family?”

“No, no, it’s not her...specifically. It’s the event in general. It’s zombie traditions that grew out of...well...life in general and how we are and stuff like that. And reminders of how zombies started and how we’ve changed until now...there’s a lot of rituals and...it can be uncomfortable even for us occasionally, so it could be a lot worse for you.”

“How bad could it really be?” Addison asked. “So I won’t know traditions and stuff, I’ll get to learn.”

“No it’s….disturbing. Really,” he said. “The traditions also serve to reinforce the idea that we don’t like hurting humans...it’s not great. Some of the rituals are so…” he shuddered a little. “That’s why we shower the person with absolute love and the best party for the other parts of it.” 

“Zed, not to sound dismissive or anything...but...how bad could it be? It’s a birthday party.”

“Yeah...but we’re zombies. Just about every good thing for us gets ruined somehow. I mean, you can still give her a gift, and maybe we can have a nice dinner before her Zombashera. A private celebration we’ll all enjoy.” 

“Um...okay? By the way, Eliza invited me out to froyo after class, so I won’t be able to see you at practice.”

“That’s okay, she told me she was gonna do that,” he said with a small smile. 

“Okay, maybe practice will help you sort out your head and be a little less weird?” She asked, and Zed laughed a little. 

“Maybe...but hey?”

“Yeah?”

“Love you always,” he said, kissing her cheek. 

“Gar gar gizar forever,” she said back, giving him a quick peck on the lips before she went to her next class.

* * *

“So…” Addison said, eating her strawberry and cream frozen yogurt. “How long am I supposed to pretend that you didn’t have ulterior motives for inviting me here?” 

Eliza stopped eating her banana cream froyo and looked up. “You know, because you date Zed, I sometimes forget how smart you are,” she said. The two of them were sitting outside in a park, completely isolated from other people. “And you’re really, really smart.”

“Oh, thank you,” Addison smiled and flipped her hair. “So...will I get answers now? Why did you really call me here?” 

“Okay...well, this is going to be awkward, so I’ll warn you now,” Eliza said. “There are times you will want to curl up and die, or run away, but...it’s for everyone that it’s better that you don’t run away.”

“You’re starting to worry me a little,” Addison said, trying to keep her tone light. 

“”I knew you were smart,” she said with an awkward laugh. “Well, we’re gonna have a little bit of girl talk...girl talk that’s more like a lesson…” She looked over to see Addison confused and sigh. “There are some things you need to know about...sex.”

Addison laughed a little nervously. “Don’t worry, I’ve had sex ed in the seventh grade, freshman year, and even ‘the talk’ with my parents. I think I have it covered.”

“You have your side covered,” Eliza said. “Unfortunately, there’s...a lot about our side you need to know. And because that’s how zombies are…none of it is simple, unfortunately.”

“Oh, okay?” She said. “Well, lay it on me. But...you do know Zed and I haven’t had sex yet, right?”

“I know,” she said. “That’s actually why we’re having this now. Before it’s too late. And yes, there is such a thing as too late,” she said. “So...part one I guess is protection. Now, obviously, there’s the normal protection of humans...you on any?”

“Yeah, I’m on the pill. Been on it for a while, even before I met Zed. So we’re safe in that context.”

“Yeah...though it’s unlikely that it would work alone.”

“Eliza, the pill has a ridiculously high effective rate, and I take it every day at the same time.”

“Yes, true,” she said. “But...well you have to remember that this,” she gestured to herself, “is that,” she gestured to Addison, “plus a nuclear mutation. Nobody knows how Zed’s biology and yours will end up working together, so I suggest maybe thinking about using almost everything under the sun to make sure nothing happens. Because...well, there’s the sad part two for your future.” 

“What is it?”

“Within zombie pregnancies, where it’s zombie and zombie...the likelihood of a mother dying in childbirth is forty percent, and the chances keep going up with every zombie child. My mom made it because she was one of the lucky ones. Zed’s mom was able to have two before she died while having Zoey. Most kids lose their mom at the first birth, so they grow up with single parents, or step parents. It’s because even zombie babies are freakishly strong...and a teeny bit violent coming out. It’s nothing, like, horror movie levels, but it’s still...you know? Enough internal damage to bring the death of a zombie mother. Now...human?”

“Getting pregnant could literally kill me?” Addison asked worried. 

“Well...right this second, yes. And the death rate is actually much lower now than it was when Zed and I were born, so it’ll probably improve more, and maybe there’ll be more research about zombie and human biologies. But, that’s one huge...big warning.” 

“That’s...huge is definitely the right word,” she said, staring down at her ice cream. 

“The good news is that, paired with normal contraception, emergency contraception just about always works with zombies so…it’s not hopeless?”

“That’s something you don’t have to worry about with Willa, huh?” She asked, picking at her ice cream. 

“Well, I have a different worry that you will have,” she said. “So lesbians don’t get off scot-free. Basically...there’s a high probability that while you two are going at it, the elevated heart rate and all the surging emotions will...temporarily...make his Z-Band malfunction.”

“Of course,” she sighed nervously. “So...he could go anywhere between football zombie Zed and full zombie Zed half-way through?”

“The type of zombie Zed depends on how intense it is,” Eliza said. “That part is personal experience. But, good news is that zombies no longer crave brains in full zombie mode, despite popular belief.”

“Wait...they don’t? Zed didn’t say anything.”

“Zed sometimes wishes he could forget he is a zombie,” Eliza said. “Especially when it reminds him how different your two worlds are.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” she said quietly. 

“But, basically, zombies used to eat brains back in the beginning because zombie brains lacked the electrical stimulation between certain parts, specifically the ones with long term memory and logical reasoning, and a bit of the part that lets us talk...that’s where Zombie Tongue comes from…and they ate brains because, it provided a small, electrical stimulant, reactivating those areas that we needed. Now thanks to the Z-Band doing the work for us without death, guilt, and side effects, we don’t need brains anymore. Our zombie state actually actively refuses it.”

“But...what about when the Aceys turned off yours, Zed’s, and Bonzo’s bands at the homecoming game?”

“That was essentially a fight or flight...minus the flight. Zed was underneath a group of football players, and Bonzo and I were in the middle of a screaming horde afraid of zombies who they thought would eat brains. We didn’t want to eat anyone. We never do.”

“So...then what’s the danger?”

“His strength. He has almost no control of how strong he is, and not enough logical reasoning to hold back not to hurt you. It’s not impossible, but maybe, you need to work on his control, how to be careful.”

“How do I do that?” 

“Well, for me, Willa and I practiced several times before anything fun happened,” she said. “I’d have her take off my Z-Band and talk me through and putting my Z-Band on when she felt like it was needed. But she’s a wolf, and stronger. I’m still sure you could try that with him. Just somewhere private and safe, and talking him through without his Z-Band. He’s already shown some control when he got everyone out of the collapsing building to get the moonstone out.”

“That’s true,” she said. “Zed already has more control.”

“And he’s almost always in control around you. Even with malfunctions. It means you’re really special to him.”

“Maybe not special enough,” she mumbled. Eliza studied her. 

“Trouble in paradise?” 

“Just...feels like he doesn’t trust me sometimes? He won’t tell me things?”

“If this is about our talk here, it’s not that he doesn’t trust you,” Eliza said, putting a hand on her shoulder. “It’s about him being afraid of you looking at him differently. About him being able to get through that,” she said. “He told me he wasn’t sure he would be able to get through the conversation in one piece.”

“No, not about this. This...this I get,” she said. “But I’m not invited to Zoey’s Zombashera.”

“Oh…” Eliza retreated her hand and looked down. “Yeah…”

“It’s silly, right? Because he knows I don’t judge him about being a zombie and I don’t mind learning more about zombie traditions, I kind of love it.”

“Not this one,” she said. “This one is...it’s intense. Even for zombies.”

“Zed said that too,” she groaned. “Will someone tell me what’s so wrong with it?” Eliza debated it in her mind, and Addison noticed. “Seriously?!”

“Okay...I’ll tell you. But you really, really can’t judge us, okay? Because this is...this is a part of what we do so that we never hurt people intentionally again.” She paused. “Remember what I said about Z-Bands? That they do the job of stimulating the parts of our brains that are shut off so that we don’t have to eat brains? So we don’t have to deal with murder, guilt, or side effects?” Addison nodded, so Eliza continued. “The side effects of eating brains is...it’s really bad for a zombie. Like, you couldn’t even imagine. Eating a brain can give us glimpses into that person’s memory, but only for a few seconds at a time. And those memories, we always feel them as if we were the ones experiencing them, and they’re almost never good memories. And in the end, after the three minutes of memory watching…it makes us feel like our body is dying the worst death you could imagine, and we start to hallucinate nightmarish creatures, like true Erdrich horrors coming in and eating parts of us, and it feels like it’s eating us...and it stays that way for hours, nonstop. And even years later, even though the little mini-memories fade, the feelings and and memory of the full force of the sensations never do. It stays with us forever.”

Addison frowned. “You’re talking so...personally…”

“I am,” she said. “Zombietown has a deal with the morgue, to get what we need from people who died already, so nobody gets hurt. It’s…that’s the final ritual of the Zombashera and Zombashihro…the zombie of honor eats their first and only brain in their lifetime, and goes through it. It’s a way to make sure we know what our bodies go through with the brains in our system now that we have Z-Bands that basically started training us out of need for them, this...makes sure that our instincts know the pain that even without the Z-Band, our half-functioning brains don’t want to eat anyone’s brains. It keeps people from getting hurt.”

“You guys go through this pain at thirteen to make sure you never hurt us?” Addison asked horrified.

“To make sure we never hurt anyone. The person is already dead when we eat their brain, and always organ donors. Brains typically don’t get used or anything so might as well give them to zombie thirteen year olds, right? To make sure nobody gets hurt again. But the town still doesn’t know because...can you imagine how much they’d freak out if they suspected a zombie ate their grandmother’s brain after she passed away?” 

“But, it’s a cruel tradition!” 

“It’s necessary,” Eliza said. “At least for the next few generations. We need to make sure we completely eradicate the instinct. It’s a horrible pain, yeah. I was curled up in a ball for a day, Bonzo screamed louder than anyone’s ever heard, and Zed threw up. But it’s only one day. One day to make sure we never feel it again, and nobody sees us as monsters...and everyone stays safe. Isn’t that worth it?”

“I mean...if you’re putting it that way,” Addison mumbled. “It still feels horrible.”

“I know,” she sighed. “But...it’s just a fact of our life. And...I don’t think you should go to this Zombashera. You’re too close to Zoey, and it’s a bit of a disturbing image, especially if you haven’t been prepped for this like we have. We’ve got to just about every Zombashera and Zombashihro since we were old enough to walk, and you learned about Zoey’s about two weeks before her thirteenth birthday. You’re not mentally prepared for that.”

“I think maybe you’re right,” she said. “I feel bad though. Zed said we could have a small, intimate birthday beforehand.”

“He did mention that to me,” Eliza said. “It’ll be more meaningful to her. And you can still participate in the gift of a zombie’s essence.”

“Is that the handmade gift you give a zombie that represents how you see them?” Eliza nodded. “I’ve been thinking about that all day actually, and I’m getting a few ideas.” 

* * *

Addison made her way to Zed after practice the next day. “Hey, sorry I didn’t get to see you earlier. Bree kidnapped me for cheer captain duties. We were choreographing the cheer line for the Seabrook Parade.”

“It’s okay,” he said, taking off his helmet and sitting next to her on the bench. “I figured you were busy with that sort of stuff. How’s it going?”

“I’m okay,” she said. “Talked to Eliza yesterday where she just about wrote me a whole manual on...zombie relations…”

“Oh...that must have been fun,” he said nervously. 

“Yeah...fun is...a word that exists in English. But it was necessary information, and I know that maybe we need to prepare,” she said. “Like...maybe starting with training on taking off your Z-Band in front of me?”

He gave a little flinch, putting his hand on his Z-Band. “I don’t want to hurt you…”

“I know,” she said, putting her hand on top of his. “And I trust you not to. But, Eliza said practicing taking off your Z-Band and learning your strength with me...it’s good for us, for doing more.” 

“Okay,” he said slowly. “But for the first few times…I want Bonzo, Eliza, Wyatt, Wynter, or Willow in the room as you take off my Z-Band. I want someone who can match my zombie strength to take me down if they need to, before I lose my control and I hurt you.”

“You won’t,” she said. “But if you need that to feel at ease, then we can do that. Get someone else in the room for the first few times I take your Z-Band off while you learn your strength.” 

He smiled and kissed her. “You’re perfect.”

“You’re a sap,” she teased. “I should also mention that Eliza also told me what a Zombashera is, and why you don’t want me there for Zoey’s.”

“Sh-she did?” Zed was taken aback slightly and looked Addison deep in the eyes before looking away. “Look, I know it’s disturbing and horrible…”

“She explained why,” Addison said. “And...it hurts me to think that you went through this. You, Eliza, Bonzo, and now Zoey? I won’t think of you guys any differently for that. Really,” she pulled his face up to meet her eyes again. “You’re still my Zed, and I know that you did this as a way to make sure you don’t hurt people like that...that all of you do. It gives me a deeper appreciation of zombie culture, that you guys subject yourselves to that because of us.”

Zed put his hand over hers. “We may be monsters, but we’re not evil.” 

“I know that,” she said, and she kissed him. “And Eliza said it wouldn’t be best for me to go to this Zombashera, but I still want to be there for Zoey. Maybe I can hang out after the party with her?”

“Maybe, I’m sure she’ll love that idea.” He said. “How about I hit the showers and take you out to dinner? Maybe some sushi?”

“Sounds perfect.”


End file.
